Alte is the short form of Alternative (I think. I didn’t find a definition online) so Alternative Lagos or Alte Lagos it is.
Its Not the regular Lagos behaviour and lifestyle which is permanently punctuated with Danfos, traffic, shouting and sweat. Its living the good baby girl/boy life. it’s composed of activities that the very regular average lagosian isn’t concerned with or is too
broke busy to participate in.
I made a commitment to treat myself to the Alte Life in the second half of 2017 but you know how laziness is an enemy of progress and procrastination is the bane of existence… I have spent the last one month with my butt pinned to my bed and my head married to my pillow… If someone should ask me why I have not achieved my goals even with all my mouth, ill just blame Lagos rains that have refused to stop and the trailers that have turned Eko Bridge to their bus stop.
Soooooo…. I did
a lot of some research on how to live the Alte life (this is what happens when you have unlimited data and too much time) and since I might not be using it anymore.. I have decided to share.. Tell me thank you.
so what are the features of Alte Lagos you ask…
Grab some popcorn and a Wilson lemonade let me educate you. it involves going to one or more or even all of these things.
- Yoga: it’s really cool to do yoga nowadays. Breath Yoga has a really cool space and even organizes yoga retreats. Taking a bunch of Nigerians to the forest to find their inner zens… inspite of mosquitoes and evil spirits. If that’s not Alte please tell me what is.
- Tours of exotic Nigeria: my babe social prefect and her tourist Collegues have blown a wind of change in Nigeria, encouraging people to love and tour their respective homelands. Well, because most of us can’t afford to go to the Obodo oyinbo again, the bandwagon has been hopped on. It’s now cool to go on one of these organized tours to select locations in Nigeria and West Africa. Trust me it wasn’t cool some years ago.
- Jameson Connect events: Jameson is a brand of Liquor and their marketing tactic is to take the cool kids of Lagos to a strange location (having a party in the middle of Costain roundabout is quite strange pls.. what if a trailer.. nvm), have a party and take pictures. Pretty creative, very Alte..
- Eat drink Lagos events… I’m moving it to my second category.
- Brunch at samanthas bistro. Cos the place is fine, sounds brunchy and I have read so many reviews, I feel like ive been there.
- Dinner at Nok, rsvp or those crazy expensive restaurants the people at eat drink lagos review everytime
- afropolitan vibes: Now this
iswas my thing!!!! until they increased the ticket prices and moved to Muri Okunlola park. I hate the parking there.
- Bogobiri on thursday: as you might have guessed I love Live shows and live music and Bogobiri is as live as it gets (they even accommodate those that sound like toads so you are welcome!!! ) but I can never get over how crowded it is every Thursday. I’m not about that life of breathing a strangers Co2 so deuces. The girl that hosts it can singgg tho!!! everybody else is trying.
- Salsa at bottles or the other numerous places they dance every week… A friend e-introduced me to MrBuddySalsa and I cant thank him enough. Ive never been to any of his classes (cos I only want to sleep after work) but the fact that the option of learning salsa and meringue is waiting for me in Lagos is just good to know.
- that boat cruise that has plenty light. around the body of the boat.. don’t belive me? that’s your business cos I don’t have a picture.. I booked once and a little bird told me that their food is crap and I cancelled.who knows them and can confirm this? I don’t joke with food.
- then the popular speed boat cruise from VI to Ilashe or to what ever hidden island the Alte crew goes to (looks like a fun activity to do with plenty friends)
- Spa visits to oriki or nails at the Nail Bar: Cos Oriki is a beautiful spa. its Alte cos I said so. They have Island prices sha. Not over the top but Island prices still.
- owning a MacBook: cos the Alte guys are all creatives or creatives on the side.
- Jogging on the lekki ikoyi bridge (still alte, a little bit mainstream cos lekkibabes still use it to find husbands
- going to the gym or bootcamps Cos everybody is trying to be fit,healthy and slim. including people that look like toothpicks. Some didn’t go unless theres a post on Instagram.
- Kayaking: this activity looks hella stressful to me. how is this a recreational activity for chrissake.
- Weddings with crazy after parties. I always promise to turn up but men.. I get tired from wearing heals and the centimeters of makeup you are required to wear to a lagos wedding
- Gidifeast in December: collect your Alte pass here
- Live shows at TerraCulture: I loveeeee live shows and if I could dance to save my life i would actually act in one. allas I am fearfully and wonderfully made not to dance so I am just content with watching. I would go every weekend if I had all the time and cash in the world and if the ticket guys were nicer.
- Going to stranger Lagos. it is supposed to be a concept space but I still have no idea what people do there other than take pictures. they also closeup and reopen frequently. I don’t gerrit.
- Art galleries: Omenka, Nike and the likes. Lucky you If you go on a day when they have a show or event. My take: the less publicity there is for an event at the art gallery, the better
- Lekki Art and Craft: the road there is disgracefullllll… do not go when it rains. do not go when the sun is out. Don’t go if you cannot enter Okada. Don’t go there. There is no road drainage and the road is terrible!!! Their “Arts and Craft” are Oyinbo tourist prices too. Mscheeeeew.
- Fibre: this is the real estate agent for the rich Alte kids or the IJGBs who cant go through the stress of looking for an apartment in Lagos. (Well, no human being deserves to go through the stress of looking for an apartment in Lagos. I was taken to an uncompleted building more than once. Why do you think I still stay with my parents?) Accommodation in Lagos is expensive and painful and Fibre is a good solution to that…. If only most of us can afford it. 🙁
- Vlogging: everybody and their mama Vlogs now. I think its good cos we don’t have so many people show us about life in Lagos. But you know Nigerians na… when something is good, we tend to overdo it. I have a post in my draft about my fav Vloggers in Nigeria.
- Birthday Phoots: No photoshoot is complete without the ballons that tell the whole world your age
- CoWorking spaces: Workstation, Capital Square the list grows. Workstation is the new place to stunt on insta.. just saying.
- Tech and Business conferences and social media week: check Eventbrite and Nigerian twitter for futher details.
- CafeNeo: The closest thing to a starbucks in Nigeria.. why pay to use a co working space when you can buy a cup of coffee and realfruit mangoes here to enjoy free wifi and cool music to work here for the whole day. I love Café Neo and their bretherns but I still don’t get why people need coffee to work in Lagos. The noise is enough to keep you awake.
- Silent Disco Parties: cool Alte activy. go with your friends as I don’t see how you can make new friends here.
- PTN: Paint the Night!!!!! paint your own … painting? … I think its fun.. cos I get to laugh at people.
- Lekki Leisure Lake and Lekki Conservation Center: Lekki leisure lake is boring and the canopy walk in LCC is just difficult. Argue with the monkeys.
- Organic food stores.. Ebano used to be it. but they have competition. Do your research. Mostly on the Island.
- Asoebi Bella: Cos you have not arrived if you’ve not been featured on Bella Naija
- Natural Hair: Need I say more?
- acting in Ndani TV or any of these web series: am I the only one that has noticed? Me too I want to act! Pick me Pick me!!
- Museums: If you are feeling Alte, The national Museum Onikan is not for you, you’ll leave there depressed.
- the Railway Station at ebutte metta : How is this dusty, sandy place now the IT place for all the cool events in Lagos.
- Ankara pants or ripped jeans: Because that’s the dress code
- listening to Falana, Folarin and Bemyoda: Alte Music.
- Picnickers anonymous: Now this is an amazing activity. You take your mat and go and have a nice picnic and watch an old movie in another persons compound. I lurveee it. Follow them on Instagram
- SaoCafe: Blew up when DJ Obi
almost killed himselfattempted and won his world record. I also met Lynxx there and that is a FYYYYYYnnnneee child of God. *does the sign of the cross*
- Events like Socialliga. : check twitter
activities that used to be Alte but lagos peasants (gbogbo ero have spoilt for the rest of us)
- Sunday buffets in Eko hotel and Federal Palace Hotel. This used to be a thing and it still is but a lot of hotels started doing it and the whole of Lagos caught on. beginning of the month comes and the hotels are fulllll!!
- Eat Drink Festival: it’s still major alte ehn…. but because they make it free, the events are crowded as hell. The last one looked like they were sharing heavenly glory there.
- Industry Night: it’s no longer so popular, I don’t know if they even do it again.
- comedy shows and concerts at eko hotel: no longer Alte when Olamide came with all his area boys from the mainland ontop they want to do OLIC. I don’t know why he doesn’t just use Ikorodu stadium sef. I went once and every brother musilu from mushin was there. the Alte crowd didn’t like that at all. we were pissed.. but we still love Olamide.
- Felas Shrine: cos its on the mainland and that’s too far for Alte Kids. Watch out for contact High. don’t say I didn’t warn you.
- GoKarting: went down the drain when they started selling on dealdey!!
Lol. Let me stop here. As you can tell I like a lot of these activities and I am looking forward to participating in some before this year. BTW, would you like me to write a review when I do? Let me know…..
so I have given you a list of Alte Lagos things… a combination of events, places, people, activities ….. so things. For more check out NTDIL
these things used to be exclusive to IJGBs but are now open to all…
so enjoy.. feel among and tell me Thank You.
If you think I missed out on some, do the needful in the comment section abeg.
Welcome to the Alte Lagos club.